[There is no condemnation in his tone, no dripping disdain, no sharp rebuke, nothing of the things she had grown up expecting at even the slightest hint of weakness. To prove herself a warrior despite her sex, she'd had to be twice as strong, twice as hard, twice as ruthless, twice as cold, twice as honorable, beyond reproach, and those habits are difficult to shake. But a growing part of her, the part that had tasted freedom, despised it. Wanted to break it, to ruin what had made her valuable to those who would own her.
Cautiously, she lifts her head to regard him, something new and confused on her features, torn between desperation and resolve.]
I do not mean... in battle, or in cups.
[Though those were some of the memories she treasured most highly of her experiences with ALASTAIR... that wasn't the sort of comfort she meant.]
... Not this night.
[Though she colors in ingrained shame to say it... she misses how her lord had so casually laid hands upon her person despite her boundaries, how it had felt to feel a hand upon hers, how it had felt to be held. She misses how heavy Matsukaze's hands had felt on her shoulders, how Yubari's tail had flicked over hers.
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Cautiously, she lifts her head to regard him, something new and confused on her features, torn between desperation and resolve.]
I do not mean... in battle, or in cups.
[Though those were some of the memories she treasured most highly of her experiences with ALASTAIR... that wasn't the sort of comfort she meant.]
... Not this night.
[Though she colors in ingrained shame to say it... she misses how her lord had so casually laid hands upon her person despite her boundaries, how it had felt to feel a hand upon hers, how it had felt to be held. She misses how heavy Matsukaze's hands had felt on her shoulders, how Yubari's tail had flicked over hers.
... how good it had all felt.]